An actual rant. Not for the faint of heart, or people that really like River Phoenix and get offended if he isn’t painted in a good light (even though he was a druggie)

I’m in a pretty shit mood so I thought I would rant about the things that annoy me for a while until I realize how ridiculous I’m being and it will calm me down a bit!

I just got back from the dentist, hence the bad mood, I hate the dentist! No you know what? The Dentist man himself is fine but it’s the hygienist I didn’t like! She was so rude and cold! I know I’m 21 but when there is a waterfall of blood slowly trying to trickle out of my mouth I would like to be coddled a little! Or at least given the right to say “stop! Please! while I swallow this saliva” but since I was unable to speak I just tried to swallow anyways and she would berate me for trying to close my mouth!

Then the waterfall of saliva and blood actually DID make its way out of my mouth, across my check and down my neck so she had the curiosity to pat my cheek dry, never mind the rest of crap that was still flowing down my skin like it was a freaking river.

Speaking of rivers of blood, I hear that a River Phoenix’s last movie Dark Blood might be getting released. Just a quick history trip, this film was started in 1993, so 18 years ago. Fans believe it can be done because they did that Dr Phansussusussu movie with Heath Ledger after he died. I think if the writer/director/producer/whoever else really wanted this story told they would re-write it and cast someone else WHO IS STILL ALIVE! I’m sure they would be better than a dead guy that was probably really high when he filmed all three scenes before he overdosed and met his end on a footpath. Did you know that River was super interested in doing The Basketball Diaries? This is the film that really made everyone sit up and pay more attention to Leonardo Dicaprio! Imagine what kind of world we would be living in now if he lived and took that role away from Leo? He would probably be making crap movies with his weird family that we would be forced to watch because River was awesome in the 90’s and his brother (who’s name I can never remember) played Johnny Cash really well.
This just seems like a pretty ridiculous money making scheme to lure people into the cinema with ‘River’s last moments’. This is just a cheap way for people to have ‘closure’.

Just like how every time a TV show ends people get all up in arms and would demand a movie. Why? Why is it necessary? There is usually a good reason why a show ended, the writers ran out of things for the characters to do or the network canceled it because no one was watching it anymore! Unless it’s a British show, they just seem to start and end whenever they feel like it. There is only one time I saw a movie from a TV show and that was on Friday when I watched the Inbetweeners. Super funny! Necessary? Probably not but it pulled in a decent crowd. An Entourage movie? After 9 seasons? What more could they possibly do? But a lot of people will go see it. Another win for Mark Wahlberg I guess, not that he doesn’t deserve it (he is pretty sexy) but I wish people would put more time and energy into movies that people haven’t seen yet.

Gavin (Snr VP & GM Australasia): Lisa will you let me through?
Lisa (lowly receptionist): No…I won’t. Call Elisha
Gavin: Still grumpy?
Lisa: *glowers*
Gavin: *laughing at my indifference*
Gavin noticed I was grumpy with Elisha this morning, when he asked Elisha why she proceeded to tell him all about our Hunger Games dispute. She prefers Gale to Peeta. I mean…what the hell right? No one in their right mind thinks that Gale is better for Katniss than Peeta. I stalked off after handing over her coffee and decided never to speak to Elisha again. Then I remembered Elisha ISN’T in her right mind so I forgave her. Our fight ended a while ago but Gavin seems to find it amusing. He also finds the whole concept of The Hunger Games barbaric! And he asked Elisha if Sean has a rifle since she has a bow and arrow, I think that he thinks we act out scenes from the books especially since Elisha told Gavin Sean plays with Nerf Guns at home. It’s no secret that Elisha and Sean fight over my affection with nerf guns and harsh words.

I don’t remember how this started, I only wrote the Gavin conversation down because it was happening as I was typing. So it didn’t really create a clever opening into another topic I would like to rant and rave about. Gavin just came out again and told Elisha and I we shouldn’t fight over books. He also asked if Sean twitches when we drive past the bell tower. I don’t know why Gavin assumes Sean is a lunatic, I think this might be Elisha’s doing.

Now I’m annoyed at how pointless this whole blog has been…I could delete it…but I like how I went from bleeding gums to River Phoenix so I’ll keep it in there. Remember my lovely readers, I’m not insane, I am just a very angry person with sore gums right now. If you want to make me feel better, then give me some food and a pillow. I’m at my worst when I’m tired or hungry, at the moment I’m both. But don’t give me YOUR pillow. No matter how many times you wash your pillow case your pillow is always going to smell like you, that’s why I don’t sleep on Sean’s pillow (he is a boy therefore gross). Bring me MY pillow, the orange square one that I stole from my sister before she moved out. She never noticed so I figured she didn’t miss it.

Below you will see:

a) River Phoenix

b) Josh Hutcherson who is playing Peeta

c) A picture of Elisha. As you can see,  no one should take what she says seriously as she is clearly insane


November 29, 2011. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

The Hunger Games has tormented me into thinking I need to run more

I’m a bit on edge today, I keep flinching at irregular noises, which are actually normal noises like the elevator dinging, doors opening and people’s voices when they’re speaking to me. I really need to get some sleep tonight, since Sunday night I’ve been up late reading.

Every time my supervisor says something to me I wished I could glare at her and the fire from a thousand suns would reduce her to a pile of dust. I think that is just a general feeling I have but today it’s intensified.

Now that I’m all tired I like to think my brain is overworked and can’t put up that wall of logic that stops the crazy thoughts from coming out. The logical part of my brain is like the shield in Star Wars Episode 1 that the Gunguns start up to keep the bullets out when the evasion starts to get a bit heavy in Naboo but then the droids realize they just need to blow up the main power source and the whole thing vanishes. Such pretty colours. My main power source is definitely a good nights’ sleep and since I have deprived myself of that my mind is devoid of logic at this point.

I read The Hunger Games last week and finished the 3rd book by Monday night, it’s a pretty overwhelming story to be honest and I’m kind of sorry I read it so quickly but it was almost impossible to put it down. I asked Sean’s sister when it would be too lame for me to linger in the teen fiction section for good books to read, “like how old is too old?”. Cassie stared at me like I was an idiot and said “never, this is such a broad genre now that it’s hardly fair to continue to call it ‘teen fiction’.”

Relief. I don’t want to start reading books about how a woman comes to terms with her divorce just yet. Actually, I don’t want to read about that at all.

These ‘teen’ books encourage my imagination to take me out of the real world for a while. Unfortunately my emotional immaturity forces me to stay in that world and cry when the protagonist cries and I cling to every aspect of it until I finish the acknowledgements.
Whenever I read something a bit intense I have to read something with a lighter story line afterwards to remind myself I’m not in a forest plotting how to kill 23 other tributes. As luck would have it the Jaclyn Moriarty book I had ordered two weeks ago came in on Tuesday so that’s what I was finishing last night.
Now I’m wrecked, physically and emotionally. It has been said before (usually by me) that I’m too emotional for my own good. Usually I laugh it off when I think about how I was devestated at the end of Gilmore Girls when I watched the series final for the first time, like, ‘oh silly me for getting so caught up in a TV show’. Books are different though, for me at least. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like I belong in a mental institution. Words paint more of a world for me than a directors vision can.

I think I should start putting more energy into the physical side of life instead of the emotional side. Then I might be a more stable person. Yes that sounds about right. I should be studying physcology! (please forgive my spelling errors, I am beyond caring!) So I will start running next week. I use to love to run! It required no skill other than to keep going! So deep…

On a quick side note, I’m very proud of my friend Callyn today, I can’t go into too much detail because my ego likes to think too many people read my blog but I am as proud of her like that time I was when we were rollerblading out of the back of her house and she finally let go of the washing basket on wheels, pushed herself freely into the air before her and realized that she does in fact have balance. Kudos to you my stumbling, bumbling friend, I’m glad you are taking steps to let go of the washing basket. I’m bordering on cranky now. I think I will go home tonight and watch a bunch of The Office, such an awesome show but it won’t keep my brain up until 1.00am so that is the appeal!!

I apologise if you’re still reading this waiting for the good part. There is no good part. Maybe I’ll include something cute. Look a puppy! Maybe I’ll include a photo of Callyn too since she has been mentioned. That’s us just before Birds of Tokyo came on stage, we were right at the front and Callyn was clearly impressed with how tanned she is. I was impressed too, hence my expression.



November 24, 2011. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

I should probably buy my ticket to soundwave so I can at least say i’ve seen Mark & Tom in the fleshy flesh flesh!

Remember a few post ago when I was super excited about Blink 182’s album coming out soon? Well, out it came and purchase I did! I told myself I already liked it and then I listened to it and wanted to cry a bit. That probably has something to do with my being a young lady, stereotypically we cry all of the time.
The truth is, I don’t like the album that much and I feel guilty for not supporting the album like a true fan.
How would Callyn feel if she got a new haircut and I was like “ugh! what do you call this?” she would feel horrible!
Then she would punch me in the stomach and feel okay again but Blink 182 cannot punch me in the stomach because they don’t know who I am and Travis won’t get on a plane which leads me to believe they’ll never come back to Australia.
At least Tom is coming to AUS though, for Soundwave. However, I haven’t actually purchased on of AAA album so maybe i’ll be disappointed again. I did download it once but I deleted all of my downloaded music so I would have to physically buy the music as my way of apologising to the music industry for downloading since I was…14? Maybe? I don’t know, whenever it was that Daniel taught me to download.

I remember I downloaded every episode of Sailor Moon and it wasn’t dubbed. Gaaaah it took so long! I didn’t delete it though because I felt bad for wasting my computers time (and my parents internet bill) (actually I didn’t think about that but I think about it now and I feel bad). Then my computer started to get sick so Daniel made me delete things or he would just erase my hard drive when I wasn’t there. Which taught me a valuable lesson, Daniel can be heartless at times.

But I digress… Have I grown out of Blink? Does this mean I’m capable of growing out of other things I supposedly love?


Okay so that being said, I started writing this before I had a coke after lunch and now it’s ten to five and I’ve forgotten my point so lets see how much I can ramble for ten minutes.
*Please note said rambling may be off topic but I’ll try to stick to the original I answered my own question just now anyways.

I thought to myself “lisa, you are looking fine today girl, I love that you’re wearing that sleeveless top even though it’s fucking freezing in reception every day but kudos to you for ignoring that! The goose bumps really go with your shoes! Anyways, if Always came on the radio when you got home would you turn that shit up and dance while making your spaghetti?”

To which I said “Thanks brain, I thought this top might be a bit thin in here, and I was right! Lesson learnt. Learned? Leanted it is. Yes, I totally would dance to any blink 182 song that came on the radio at any given time!” My brain says in reply “Well there you go! It doesn’t matter that you don’t like this album very much, you don’t need to feel guilty for hyping yourself up about it. You know what you should feel guilty about? Hyping yourself up about the special features on Star Wars bluray, *laughs* what a fucking disappointment that shit was!”

Hey look at that it’s 4.59!

November 10, 2011. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

I read Tomorrow When The War Began, so I think I can handle a surprise invasion

So recently I’ve been a bit distant with my writing, oh yeah sure it’s still all direct thoughts from my mind onto page without processing how weird and wonderful it all is. But I got a little bit freaked out when I saw that when I posted my blogs I would get quite a few views. Which is stupid because I specifically post these things on my facebook FOR PEOPLE TO VIEW THEM! I am not used to people actually reading/listening to the crap I have to say I suppose.

So I thought; should I be more cautious?
Should I write things a bit more graciously?
Should I write my blog about the economic crisis? Gun control? Carbon tax? Immigrants? Real things that are happening in the world other than the normal stuff I force people to read?
I seriously considered it but that serious consideration lasted 15 seconds as I don’t know squat about these well known issues. ‘Why is that?’ You may be asking while scratching your head. I should advise you not to do so as it might lead to baldness or just ordinary redness around your scalp which of course would only be an issue if you were bald already and people could see the redness. People can be so unkind. Like, Elisha always points out when I’m red from scratching my neck or something but I think it’s due to jealously because my skin is so porcelain white that I am sometimes mistaken for a doll so the red comes up easily.

So yes I don’t know a whole lot about anything that’s important. Ignorance is bliss, pure and beautiful bliss. It’s not like I’m stupid, I could pick up a paper or watch the news and educate myself on what’s been happening in the world but so far I’m pretty unaffected so why start concerning myself now?

When fuel prices went up when I was younger I didn’t lose my shit. Why? Because I didn’t have my license or a car so why bother getting angry about it? I have applied this method to everything else. I know there will be people out there that would say something like: “it’s people like you with your backward selfish thinking that is making this country what it is!!”
Unfortunately when they say this to me, I don’t have a fucking clue as to what they’re talking about since I don’t pay attention to how Australia is perceived by anyone else.
I like living here and I like that I don’t get shot if I walk into a fast food chain and I like that the society I was raised in didn’t have a single religion that they had to go by for the rest of their lives.

I know there is very little I am in control of. I do know that I’m in control of my life and the choices I make and that’s pretty empowering. I think it’s important to be a bit selfish sometimes, do things that benefit you, stop catering to everyone’s wants and needs.
I have a friend that is so concerned with being the person that everyone else wants her to be that she gets a little bit lost and forgets who she is sometimes. I never want to be like that, I want to know who I am, what I like, what I hate, what I love and what I want. And if turning off the news to read my book makes me a selfish person then that’s okay with me.
Maybe I’ll change my tune if Australia ever gets invaded and I’m running down the street trying to get out of town, wondering what’s happen and everyone else is like “don’t you watch the news?!?!?”. Then I’ll say “why would I watch the news when there is a double episode of Friends on at the same time?!?”
Then maybe someone will ask why I didn’t buy all of Friends on DVD when it was super cheap at Sanity that one time. Then I’ll push them over for reminding me of one of my biggest regrets.

November 8, 2011. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

I prefer to make sounds at people instead of words at the moment

When I read about someone grunting I always assume that person has a beard and red eyes from drinking beam since dawn.
Isn’t that weird?
Actually no I would say it’s pretty accurate that people who drink beam also have beards. I don’t mean to generalize but there it is.

 Oh I just heard a sound from the elevator that reminded me of Chris Martin’s voice in Paradise, such a nice song, the whole album is pretty great. I like that Rhi Rhi song too. I wrote Rhi Rhi just now because the spelling of her full name has escaped me! Maybe not, maybe it was never within me to begin with and I’ve been feigning intelligence all of these years by fooling people by nodding like I understand when they speak to me about Rhiannah? Rhianna?? Chris Martin is Coldplay right? Usually I would know, but not today my friend. No sir-ee


If anyone is out there…please buy me a can of coke (you can answer this plead of help by emailing Elisha to get me a can, I’ll act surprised)


This blog is all weird and about me again…haha as if I would know how to write about anything else? I really don’t, hence the reason I haven’t written lately. I know a lot of you must have this page in your favorites section, opening it every morning right after checking your facebook, eagerly awaiting the page to load to see what words of wisdom I have written out for you but day after day you are disappointed and I’m sorry. I know a little something about disappointment. Yesterday Elisha asked for chocolate so I bought her AND Sue a freddo and I was feeling quite pleased with myself for being an awesome friend but it turned out I had bought them WHITE CHOCOLATE FREDDOS!!!!
The look of disappointment will haunt my dreams forever.
Well Sue didn’t seem to mind too much, probably because she didn’t’ actually ask for any chocolate.
Elisha however, still hasn’t spoken to me, this makes phone calls particularly difficult since she doesn’t say anything when I pick up.
Speaking of disappointing friends…it seems I don’t have any so I can’t relate. Sorry.

 Since when did I become this stupid by the way?
Was it the meth?
No…it couldn’t be, meth makes you strong, that’s what my dealing has been telling me anyway and you can always trust a dealer because he has nothing to gain by lying and nothing to lose by telling the truth

 Maybe I should become a dealer?

Yes, that’s settled I will sell the crack to kids and make a profit and an honest woman out of myself

Now I’m cracking up HAHA CRACKing up. Get it?

Somebody call SNL and tell them they’ve found a new staff writer!

Tina Fey and I would be great friends and I would be named godmother for sure, I know Tina would trust me with her kids even though I would offer them no religious knowledge whatsoever but that’s not what a godparent does anymore is it? It’s really someone’s way of choosing their favorite person. When Callyn names me godmother of her firstborn then Kendal will find out that I’m the favorite. I didn’t want to tell Kendal about the Callyn thing and hopefully she won’t read this but I can’t lie anymore, especially know that I’ve chosen to become a drug dealer in my spare time and if there is any one group of people out there that stick to their ethics it’s the dealers and people who belong in fight club and I guess the ladies from The View?

 Not that I honestly believe I have spare time what with work, eating, reading and watching TV before sleeping, I’ve basically run out of hours for the day.  Thank thenutellagods I don’t have any hobbies. But I do need a second job, I can’t buy magazines and coffee and expect to go to America in 7 months on my salary. Well actually I can if I stop buying the magazines. So what if I don’t know what’s happening on the set of The Avengers? Who cares if I wear the wrong colours on the beach? What will happen if I don’t read my favorite bands latest cd review? Will the world stop spinning? It’s so hard when the world revolves around me…I feel like a Kardashian, minus the fake boobs, lips, hair and spray tan.

Okay I must stop writing about myself now and finish my work, I’m kind of feeling guilty for paying my blog so much attention but ignoring the innocent pieces of paper on my desk. They just want to be acknowledged and filed away for my supervisor’s scrutiny tomorrow when she gets back to work after being ‘sick’.

 Alright I’m seriously going this time…you hang up! No you hang up first! No you!

November 2, 2011. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.